I sit here with tears streaming down my face. Sometimes you can't escape what is. If I could have one wish it would be to heal my sweet baby boy. How is this the life God wants him to live. Another therapy has come and gone and still no miracle break through. Abigail acted up yet again, wanting the attention. I just can't help being sad at the necessity of therapists. I am definitely having a why me moment. Every day there is something to make me realize just how abnormal our life is. How much I want for Jackson and the doubts that creep in about his ability to ever do things. Just one wish. That's it. I need to somehow believe the possibility exists. Yes I realize I have to deal with what is and not rely on some miracle to change the situation. I am thankful for all the lessons I have learned but not today. I just want to hear him talk and see him run through the house. I want these things more than I've ever wanted anything. I want him to be all boy breaking things and putting toys in the toilet. At times the pain is just too much.
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1 comment:
Jen, I didnt see this post until today. I feel all those things. I have to struggle often to NOT think about it. I get so tired of therapies, watching her struggle, doctors and everything else that our "abnormal" lives have turned into.
Rest assured that I too want more than anything for Makily to rip my house apart and babble until I am going crazy from it. I would give my right arm.
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