Packing for Vegas Baby!

I am packing for the big trip to Vegas.  This will be the first time all four of us will be on a plane together.  We will be gone for two weeks.  I need it.  In case your wondering my mom lives there so it really will be a vacation.  I will be going from 105 degree weather to 110 so not much different right? I am hoping to get great pictures while I am there.  Please pray it is a relaxing time and that I can recharge my batteries and handle life until the next trip.  By the way the next trip will be in August to Denver since Chris is going to the National Democratic Convention.  Haven't really thought through the details of that one yet.  

Jackson has figured out how to unhook himself from his feeding so the feeding continues to pour out on him and his bedding.  This is quite frustrating yet I am proud of his sneakiness. He is becoming more and more vocal everyday.  He loves to tell us Hi and I am getting Momma more frequently also. I feel like speech therapy is going great while physical not so much.  I guess I have to take what I can get. Abigail watches her Dance recital  DVD about three times a day and can now perform everyone else's dances.  She even put up a new toy to get a new dance outfit at Wal-mart yesterday.  She needs different costumes for the different dances in the recital.  This girl is serious about dance.

I did a craft show this weekend.  Never again in June.  It was 100 degree in the shade.  I made about as much in a weekend as I do in a month at the store so that was nice.  I might try it again in October but my luck is that it would be freezing or some other fluke of weather.  

Crazy busy times in the Hightower House!

Hope all is well in your house 

Love you all

Husband

Husband is home with me 24/7 for the entire summer.  Enough Said!  

MARGARITA TIME!

I love a good margarita.  A margarita has never failed to cure what ails me.  My friend just called and she will be over to pick me up for a drink.  There was no need for discussion.  It is understood  when one of us needs to get out of the house and refocus we just call.  I love my friends.  I have a very unique blend of friends and each one seems to serve a different purpose for different moods. In a few weeks the fam. will be going to Las Vegas to visit Grandma for two weeks.  I am really excited to run away for a while.  This is the one thing I will Thank George Bush for (Stimulus Check)  it is paying for us to fly to Vegas baby!  I have been told I have to go to Margaritaville.  You don't have to ask me twice! 

Shaken

I have been reading the blog of a little boy with trisomy 18 Jacob Fahmer.  Most babies with trisomy 18 are not born alive or only live a few hours.  This is what the doctors quietly didn't what to tell us they thought Jackson had.  I have been going to the blog everyday to hear how he is doing and what mischief he has gotten himself into.  It had become a part of my daily routine.  Last night the blog entry was news that he had passed away.  They got to spent 139 days with their miracle.  Reading other peoples' lives has created a sense of family for me.  I have cried for this family as if they were my neighbors or close friends.  For so long we weren't sure if Jackson would live and still have fear for his life.  I'm not sure just how close Jackson came to dying in those beginning days.  Today I mourn the loss of everyone who has lost a child, accident or illness doesn't change the sadness.  Please pray for this family and others like them.  They have had to endure so much. Please pray for peace for their family.  They have two other boys who deeply loved their brother.  I find myself hugging my children a little tighter today.  Enjoying every sound and sweet thing they do.  I want to memorize every detail.  Life is truly too short.  

My reason to Live

Hi

stand

Stand in the Rain   Superchick

She never slows down

She doesn't know why but she knows that when

She's all alone

Feels like its all

Coming down

She won't turn around

The shadows are long and she fears if she cries

The first tear

The tears will not stop

Raining down

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when its all crashing down

You stand in the pain

You won't drown

And one day what's lost can be found

You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound

Alone in this fight with herself

and the fears

Whispering

If she stands

She'll fall down

She wants to be found

The only way out is through everything

She's running from

Wants to give up

And lie down

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when its all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown 

And one day what's lost can be found

You stand in the rain

Ranting

I am a mess today.  I started bawling in front of the new physical therapist.  I hate for other people to see me cry.  I felt so pathetic.  She started asking me if I had a support group or a counselor I really don't want to admit I might need that.  I thought I didn't want to say anything to Abigail about Jackson's condition unless she asked.  Well she is asking and having a hard time with therapists coming to work with him.  I think it is that she isn't getting attention.  I told her he needs extra help learning things.  I don't know what else to say.  I don't want it to be real.  Saying it out loud saying it to her makes it real.  I want to pretend everything's fine.  I want to pretend it's normal that my 14 month old baby can't sit up.  

I don't want to be a mom today.  I want to lock myself in the bathroom and cry.  I want to throw a fit and scream why the hell me?  Why my baby?  I'm tired of having to work so damn hard just to sit up.  I'm tired of changing out his bedding because I left the feeding machine on and it went off automatically.  I'm tired period.