A new day

I feel much better. There is something therapeutic about writing your feelings, exposing yourself to others thoughts. I ordered Caroline's bedding this morning and have been busily working to clean out both girls rooms. I have decided to get new carpet while we are at it. I haven't finalized that and am going to attempt to haggle my way into a better deal. I really didn't want to spend more than 2500 for the three bedrooms and the hallway. It is going to cost about 3300 so I may have to go back to the drawing board. I am working hard to reassure myself that what ever happens is by design. Something I know all to well but for some reason I don't think you can completely surrender to that.


I refuse to spent my last pregnancy upset about what might happen. I want to enjoy every moment and realize what a miracle this truly is. I am getting another girl!!!! I have so many hopes and dreams for our family. I try so hard not to give into dreams afraid of the disappointment if they don't come true. This is nonsense. I realize that now. To live a life afraid of the unknown is not living. I will probably slip up from time to time, but I will try hard to keep this attitude up.
Thanks for all your words of encouragement and prayers, they really do make a difference!