Jackson is 2

Yesterday was Jackson's birthday. We had a nice day with the exception of all of us having head congestion. It was just the family which was nice. I really didn't feel the need to go over board this year. I hate to say the decorations and cake were more for Abigail's benefit. The balloons all about Jack though. HE loves mylar balloons. We have now survived two years which according to the research increases his mortality rate greatly. While I am thrilled at that prospect, I have to admit his birthday brings it all back. The days, weeks, months surrounding his birth and diagnosis. I want to encourage you to visit my favorite blog My New Normal it is on my sidebar. She describes in perfect detail how I have been feeling lately. How I will more than likely feel every birthday. In all that sadness one of the kids I keep track of died at the age of twenty yesterday. So while mortality rates can increase we never know how long any of us has. I try not to stay long in the sadness of it all, I don't want to miss the great moments we do have with our miracle Jack.

The Climb Miley Cyrus

Yeah I know it's Miley cyrus but it's a good song!

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreamin
But there's a voice inside my head saying you'll never reach it.
Every step I'm taking.
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction.
My faith is shakin.
But I,I gotta keep tryin.
Gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.

The struggles I'm facing.
The chances I'm taking.
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking.
I may not know it but these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah.
Just gotta keep going.
And I, I gotta be strong.
Just keep pushing on 'cause,


There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
But Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.

Yeah-yeah

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle




Sometimes you're gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.

Yeah-yeah-yea

Keep on moving,
Keep climbing,
Keep the faith,
Baby.

It’s all about,
It’s all about the climb.
Keep your faith,
Keep your faith.

Whoa, O Whoa.

Freaking Out

Maybe I should remove the baby count down from the blog. It is starting to taunt me. Reminding me I don't have the house just the way I want it. I don't have diapers stock plied in the closet like with the other kids. 50 days that can't be right. This pregnancy has flown by. I need to just keep her inside me, I'm pretty sure that's the only way to survive having three kids. Car seat situation still not figured out. Double stroller still not decided on or wanting to spend the money. (please insert a panicked voice along with blog post it's much more dramatic that way)

Oh My Gosh I'm having another baby!

Decorating Madness!

I have been in a decorating kind of mood lately. I want everything in the house to look different. I have a long short dresser in my hallway. It is the heavy dark wood style with gold door knocker type handles. You know your parents furniture. Well I wish I had taken a before picture It has now been sanded and spray painted black. It will then be lightly sanded to give it the rustic look that is oh so popular. This thing is gorgeous! i already have a plan for the wall space above said dresser.

On the right is a button for a new blog I found that is dedicated to decorating. I am crazy in love with it. Pictures coming soon.

Update!

It has come to my attention that I have been slacking on posting. I sincerely apologize. Things are great around here. Jackson has gained two pounds since Christmas, which makes the total three pounds since starting this new formula. He now weighs 16 pounds 9 ounces. That is the most he has ever weighed. Weight gain was our main goal, but we weren't prepared for all the wonderful things that were in store. Jackson has come alive in the last month. He smiles and laughs and has so much more strength. He truly seems like a different child. Small miracles but miracles none the less. Abigail continues to dazzles us with her wit and intelligence. The picture of her above is of a puzzle she has completed. She is really into puzzles and is now doing 63 piece puzzles. She got a mid year report from school that would make any parent gush with pride. She is an amazing kid. She continues to take dance twice a week and loves it. The theme of their recital this year is the circus. I got to preview the costumes they are adorable. I'm not sure how I will go to the recital since it is the week I am due, but we will see. Pregnancy continues to go well and I am getting rather large. I am now on iron pills since my iron was low at the last test. They are big pills and I really don't like pills but it's just another thing to go through. Caroline is quite the mover and can't wait to see how her personality stacks up to my other two. The store is going through some changes. We are no longer going to carry consignment clothes. The laws are changing and concerns over lead in clothing has made it not worth trying to keep the clothes. We are in the process of making booths and renting them out to crafters. This is the direction I always wanted for the store so, hopefully it will take off. I have bee busy trying to make stuff to fill my booth. I didn't realize just how low I let my inventory get.

I used to laugh at my mother when she talked about how fast time was passing. I am so sorry mom. I get it now.

One Day You Will Lady Antebellum

You feel like you’re falling backwards
Like you’re slippin’ through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can’t see it now

Chorus
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there’s a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won’t be much longer
You’ll find love, you’ll find peace
And the you you’re meant to be
I know right now that’s not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You’re just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you’re down to your last breath
And you don’t know it yet

Repeat Chorus

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you’re made of, you’re made of

Repeat Chorus

One day you will
Oh one day you will

To A Friend I Have Never Met

My dearest friend Trish shares the same sad story of Emanuel's Syndrome. I have spoken often of her and look up to her. I would have never survived this diagnosis without her. I have never met her. We can spend hours on the phone as if we are sisters and keep in touch through blogs. When I heard this song I thought of her. She is struggling right now with a delicate situation of trying to adopt her foster son. We share so many traits and immediately feel the same things. I know how I would feel in her shoes and can easily imagine the agony she is in now. All I can say is the harder the road the sweeter the victory. I love you dearly and think of you all the time.