Another great story

Most women became mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes.

"Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecilia. Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter?"

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles, "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect.

She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Mama' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Biggest Loser

This was the first year I have watched biggest loser and wow how inspiring is that show? A three hour finale was a bit much but over all I know I am now a solid fan. I wanted Mike to win and he came within four pounds of doing so. The best part is that they all feel like they got to win because they have changed their lives and have lost a ton of weight. I hope to actually stick to it and lose myself some serious weight. Something one of the players said has stuck with me. He and his son were on the show. The dad talked about how he did this to his son. He allowed his son to be almost four hundred pounds. That is so true. Our own lifestyles are a direct reflection on our kids.


First Goal: no more drive thru windows

Happy Mother's Day

This was sent to me and was so powerful I wanted to share.





Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys
Or forgot words to a lullaby
I didn't worry whether or not
My plants were poisonous
I never thought about immunizations

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on - chewed on - or peed on
I had complete control of my mind
And my thoughts and I slept all night

Before I was a Mom...
I never held down a screaming child
So doctors could do all those tests & give a shot
I never looked into teary eyes and cried myself
I never got gloriously happy over a simple little jester
I never sat up late hours at night
Just watching my little baby sleep

Before I was a Mom...
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put them down
I never felt my heart break a million times as they grew
When I couldn't stop the hurt - I prayed
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much
I never knew that I could love someone so much
I never knew I would love being a Mom

Before I was a Mom...
I didn't know the feeling of unconditional love
Having my heart outside my body
I didn't know how special it could feel
To feed a hungry baby with our bodies
I didn't know that bond existed
And between a mother and her child - there is no stronger bond
I never knew I was important and ever needed

Before I was a Mom...
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay - I have never given up
I had never known the warmth, the joy and the love
And the complete heartache and the complete wonderment
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much
Before I was a Mom - I did not exist

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Truth

Let me start out by saying three kids wow what a household that makes! All of my kids have a great disposition and are great sleepers but they all need something somehow at the same time. I am trying not to make Abigail the "Can you go get this" girl but it's hard not to ask her to be my extra hands. Jackson has been very vocal lately. This is a great thing except that it is this high pitched noise that is driving me crazy. I am trying to adjust to this new sound but I have to admit it is hard. Caroline is precious. She is still in that sleep poop sleep some more stage. She is doing well at night, I just don't like getting up. I got spoiled with Jackson having a feeding pump. If only something could feed Caroline through the night. Ha Ha. For fear of jinxing myself I don't really mean that comment. So on to the ugly truth. My child is severely disabled. Not that this is new news it's just that at times you can forget and get into a normal routine then bam! something happens. Jackson needs new things. He still isn't sitting independently. He has outgrown the infant carrier plus someone else needs it. He had outgrown the infant bath and needs something else for the regular bath. As I was shopping in a special needs catalog for these items the physical therapist told me not to buy these items because medicaid will pay for them. I was very excited. He has now been fitted for a britax carseat, a bath seat and an unexpected thing called a kimba stroller. This stroller is amazing and the chair part comes out and attaches to a base like thing for your house. I am excited about these things yet having a hard time knowing they are necessary. A bed will be our next thing to try for. I think he needs something that elevates at the head to help with his congestion. We will see. Jackson is now 18 lbs 6oz. That is great news but now he's getting heavy or at least next to holding little peanut he seems heavy. He looks great and even has rolls to spare. That formula really was the trick. We just keep trucking along as life is ever changing.

She's Here!

CAROLINE ROSE
7lbs. 3oz.
19 3/4 inches



Caroline was born Wednesday morning at 8:16. Things went very smoothly. No problems no panic attacks just easy. Well easy really isn't the right word but compared to what I was preparing for easy. We came home Friday around noon. We both were doing that great. I felt well and really over did it. Saturday was a bear. I didn't sleep much and I was really sore.



Today went well and we had a great Easter here at the house. The Easter bunny made his appearance and left eggs all over the yard. Jackson has really enjoyed playing with his basket of goodies. Life is good!

The date is Set

So my wish is coming true and Caroline will be here at 7:30 in the am on Wednesday. I am now officially in oh shit mode. My cousin is going to spend the night with us on Tuesday and take Abigail to school at 9. Jackson's nurse comes from 8:30 till 2 MWF so that is already in place. The rest we will have to make up as it comes around. My mom is coming when I was really supposed to have her next week. I think it will be nice to already be home from the hospital when mom gets here. Even though things are always chaos I think that is the only way I know how to operate these days. Please say a prayer for us on Wed. I am very nervous about having another c section. It is hard to forget what it was like with Jackson.

Hectic-- A small Update

Things have been crazy around here for a while. WE can't seem to keep everyone well at one time. Jackson was hospitalized for pneumonia from Thursday to Saturday of last week. That was quite an ordeal. Chris took the day off to take Jackson to the doctor and run my errands since I was on bed rest. We thought he had another ear infection. Needless to say we were not prepared to go to the hospital. The doctor was thinking he might have a blood infection based on some other things going on with him. WE are very grateful it was only pneumonia. During that time tests were done on me thinking I had preeclampsia again. So the same day Jackson is in the hospital I am supposed to be on bed-rest. Ha Ha . The test came back normal for me thank goodness. Jackson is doing well now and continues on breathing treatments and an antibiotic. I have been going to the doctor twice a week and am done with all this. I am tired of driving over there about thirty minutes away and tired of all the poking and prodding that has gone on this pregnancy. I am grateful to such a caring and cautious doctor but am really ready to not go anymore. Abigail was sick with a stomach bug Friday but bounced back within 12 hours and had a 4 hour nap. The bug was just enough for me to get it and I spent all day yesterday in the bathroom or in my room. I guess I am lucky it happened on the weekend. I am barely hanging on this morning but another doctors appointment awaits me in about an hour. I think I will request Caroline be born this week instead of next. I don't know how that will go over but a girls got to try right.